Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and when that happens the only important thing is how you hit it. I’ve been fairly quiet lately, here on the blog, on social media, pretty much everywhere because I’m getting ready to knock one of those said curve balls out of the park.
Most people that know me personally, in the real world, know that my husband and I were similar but different minded people. Almost like introvert vs. extrovert, but more along the lines of unmotivated vs. motivated. We loved hard, we cared, and we tried until suddenly… I didn’t. There are many reasons for this some spanning the entire nine years we have been together, some having only occurred in the past couple of years. What it finally came down to was me, or us. I could continue to live as a shell of the person I used to be, that I was meant to be, and live a life that maybe wasn’t ideal but be with this really cool guy that is the father of my child…. or be strong, be me, and ask for the dreaded “D” word.
I thought on it for months, actually I had thought on it many times over the last six years, but definitely a lot in the last several months. I considered my daughter, my career, my happiness, and all signs pointed towards it being a mistake to continue to live a life of unhappiness, to continue to live a lie. So last month I broached the topic with him after I gained my strength and found myself again. We started counseling, and I really analyzed what I was feeling, why I was feeling it, and what I wanted out of my partner and my life. I realized that with all of the things that had happened, the way the two of us had each grown and changed, I no longer was committed to the marriage. So I asked for a divorce.
Its been about three weeks since he moved out. Its been good, its been hard, and the roller coaster will only continue, but I am finally myself again. I’m embracing me and the life I should be living with my daughter. My goal is to continue to co-parent in as drama-free of a way as we can achieve, and be supportive of each other’s life choices. I’d like us to be friends. I have no ill will towards him, I wish nothing but the best. Ultimately I want all three of us to be as happy as possible.
So here is to fresh starts, finding happiness and embracing one’s true self. To taking life by the horns and not ever letting go, because we got this.